Tuesday, March 24, 2020

BREAKING: TX Gov Greg Abbott calls for sacrifice of Lt Gov Dan Patrick


March 18, 2020 | Austin, Texas | Press Release

Texas Governor Greg Abbott has issued the following statement in response to Lt Governor Dan Patrick's call to let the Coronavirus to run its course to save the economy.

The great state of Texas has one of the best economies of the world with a combination of low taxes, few regulations, and the great spirit of Texans. Unfortunately the Coronavirus and the reckless use of government overreach the economy has ground to a halt with Texans being directed to stay at home until the virus has run its course. 

With this assault on our great economy Lt Governor Dan Patrick has offered himself and millions of senior citizens up for sacrifice to the Coronavirus god in the hope of saving our economy for the younger generation. 

With this in mind I call for a public offering of Dan Patrick to the god of the Coronavirus. He will be sacrificed on the South lawn at dawn. In lieu of a smoldering volcano we will use a Hibachi grill, one made right here in Texas!

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