Sunday, March 19, 2017

Texas Lt Gov Dan Patrick responds to "masturbation" bill

March 20, 2017

AUSTIN – Lt. Governor Patrick issued this statement today following the filing of House Bill 4260, the "Man's right to know" bill.

"Texans have a long history of independence, free from over reaching restrictions to a man's well being and health. HB4260, which restricts a man's right to masturbate, is not only an insult to the freedoms men have fought for, it is an embarrassment to the House and Senate. I urge both Houses to rise up and denounce this frivolous bill as nothing more than a knee jerk reaction."

"I want to make sure all my conservatives in the great state of Texas to know that I will lead the charge in beating this bill. What a man does in his own bathroom, bedroom, office, closet, or 2nd floor cloak room is no ones business. Regulating a man's right to masturbate will rub many men the wrong way and will lead to a slippery and sticky slope."

"I pledge to all the men in Texas that I will beat off all supporters of this bill with both hands. Now please enjoy the complimentary cigarettes and paper towels."

3 comments:

Julia Milazzo said...

LMFAO! LOLOLOL!

strangefriend said...

Satire, right?

Sara said...

😁